Can you believe it’s February already! The day for celebrating love, affection, and friendship is coming up next week. I want to recommend being your own valentine- that is to say gift yourself with love, affection, and friendship. Yes, some folks already hold an abundance of self-regard, but many hold themselves with too little. What I’m suggesting is that loving yourself is important.
Loving yourself is extremely important, as your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have. Self-love is the very essence of wellbeing, self-empowerment, joy, and imperative for the ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You will not enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself.
It’s by turning your attention inward to yourself that you may be able to experience your connection with Spirit, God, Source, whatever the name you call this vital energy. In the human experience, every relationship with someone else mirrors of the relationship you have with yourself.
Not knowing how to love yourself creates all kinds of effects on a spectrum from just not feeling good about yourself, living in self doubt, insecurity, indecision, to being plagued by depression, or even self-hatred, which affects every area of your life.
Self-criticism or negative self-talk cuts you off from connection with universal life force energy, and the love of the divine.
Not that God, cuts you off, but that you cut yourself off from God, Spirit, The Source of All That Is.
Until you know how to love yourself, there can be an inner struggle taking place that divides your energy and sabotages your efforts to move toward happiness. And furthermore, remember back to the articles on the Law of Attraction? If you do not love yourself and are emitting that kind of energy, you attract people and circumstances that mirror your negative beliefs and feelings about yourself; not just in love relationships, but all around you. For you to draw in loving people and circumstances, you need to know how to love yourself first.
And, simply knowing how to love yourself, and not practicing loving yourself- well that will have little effect. So, how can you be more loving to yourself? Well, that could be a 52-week course in itself! But in the limited in space and time I have here, the most important thing I can suggest is that you be aware of your inner negativity and negative self-talk. Pretty much all lack of self-love stems from these. Even if some of the “talk” came from parents, teachers, etc., it has become your self-talk. The good news about that is that since it is now yours, you can change it!
The very first step is to become aware of your negative self-talk, and create positive self-talk in its place. This simple step will get you started on your way to loving yourself. Change “I’m fat an unattractive, no wonder I don’t have a partner,” to “I’m beautiful inside and out, and I love me.” Even if you don’t believe it YET, affirm it, daily, many times daily, and you WILL come to believe it. Change “My life is stuck, and I’m going nowhere,” to “I’m moving forward in new and exciting directions.” You get the idea!
Second, when you catch yourself “being mean to yourself,” or using negative self-talk, try to talk to yourself the way your best friend would talk to you if you were telling them this information. For instance, you eat something that is not on the food plan. You beat yourself up with “you, stupid idiot! You have no willpower! You’ll never lose weight.” What would your best friend say to you? Probably something more like “ok, you slipped. Just get back on track and go from there. Get back in the groove and you’re fine.” Or think what you would tell that friend in a similar situation.
Another affirmation to remember and repeat, from Shakti Gawain, in Reflections in the Light, “As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others.”
Happy Valentine’s Day! And practice loving yourself!